You know your life has taken a turn for the worse when you and some friends are compelled to send the following e-mail:

Last night a volley of messages were sent out from
this account by a small group of fools who now regret
what they've done. Old friends visiting after two
years apart engaged in a drunken conversation about
people we used to date but lost touch with, or people
we wished we had dated, or people we wished we hadn't
fucked, or people we regret never having fucked, etc.

With laptops and booze in hand, we turned to Google;
after about two hours of investigative work and many
more beers, the ill-advised decision was made to
unleash a wave of shitfaced e-mails from a dummy Yahoo
account. Some of the e-mails were less insulting than
others; some were just mean-spirited and cruel; and
others were filled with half-truths and complete
fables that for some reason seemed funny at the time.
(For example, Maressa, your husband did not give one
of us HPV in 1993; Charles, your wife never had oral
sex with any of us; Ginny and Kevin K., your "pathetic
little secret" has not been posted on Craig's List;
Jon, one of us did not recently sell a used pregnancy
test on eBay).

We're ashamed of all of these e-mails and apologize --
as sincerely as four now-sober adults can apologize --
if any of them actually nudged past your spam blockers.

Each of you deserved to be left alone. Reading the e-mails
today, we are completely mortified, embarrassed,
ashamed, and terribly, terribly sorry.

sincerely,
H, B, D & S

It really did seem funny at the time. Now, not so much. As for my role, I assign 47% of the blame to my faculty senate meeting (see below), which drove me to drink much earlier in the day than I should have...