Going Public
For those on the academic job market, March -- not April, with all due respect to T. S. Eliot -- is the cruelest month. By now, most of us have completed our interviews and have discovered our fate. Some of our friends and colleagues have received job offers, for which they are momentarily grateful; the rest of us are facing another year of adjunct appointments, another year of living in shitty towns we can't wait to leave, another year of wondering when enough is enough. While setting aside the proper amount of time to flog ourselves for our personal inadequacies and shake our fists mightily at an oversaturated market, we must eventually settle our gaze upon the true source of our enduring misery -- the search committees who cast our files into the "B" and "C" piles, who dismissed our artfully-crafted letters and fruited CV's, who overlooked our stunning proclamations during preliminary phone and conference interviews, and who ultimately chose to deprive us of the employment we so evidently deserved.
They are the enemy, and they must be exposed.
To that end, I have set up two e-mail accounts, one for me and one for you. If you or someone you know has some choice sentiments you'd like to pass along to the search committees who rejected you, you can contact me directly (see the address at the top of the page) using the dummy e-mail account I have created to assure maximum anonymity and guarantee that everyone feels comfortable releasing their inner, gurgling volcano of bile. I will post all anecdotes, foul oaths, and cries for justice from an uncaring universe on this blog. I'll continue to post, too, as my career spirals in ever tighter circles toward the sewer.
The dummy address is eat.me2006(at)yahoo.com, with the password "fuckoff" (all lowercase). It's my little gift to you. Please don't use it to threaten or harrass anyone, unless you're threatening me.
Of course, anyone who wishes simply to e-mail me from another address is welcome to do so. All names, locations, schools, and other identifying details will be altered to assure true anonymity. Go ahead. Get it out there. You'll feel better.
(And if you're a newcomer to this blog, I encourage you to review my earlier posts to get a sense of the spirit in which we're going to be spraying the shit around here.)
They are the enemy, and they must be exposed.
To that end, I have set up two e-mail accounts, one for me and one for you. If you or someone you know has some choice sentiments you'd like to pass along to the search committees who rejected you, you can contact me directly (see the address at the top of the page) using the dummy e-mail account I have created to assure maximum anonymity and guarantee that everyone feels comfortable releasing their inner, gurgling volcano of bile. I will post all anecdotes, foul oaths, and cries for justice from an uncaring universe on this blog. I'll continue to post, too, as my career spirals in ever tighter circles toward the sewer.
The dummy address is eat.me2006(at)yahoo.com, with the password "fuckoff" (all lowercase). It's my little gift to you. Please don't use it to threaten or harrass anyone, unless you're threatening me.
Of course, anyone who wishes simply to e-mail me from another address is welcome to do so. All names, locations, schools, and other identifying details will be altered to assure true anonymity. Go ahead. Get it out there. You'll feel better.
(And if you're a newcomer to this blog, I encourage you to review my earlier posts to get a sense of the spirit in which we're going to be spraying the shit around here.)
posted by Bad Attitude | 12:15 AM
2 Comments:
Dear BA,
Dear, dear, poor, sweet, stupid BA. I know how hard it is to work all those years, struggle financially, spend hours on research, only to find out after all that work, that you appeal to no one. Your life is meaningless. Your work is unimportant. Your personality is repulsive. And your attitude is, well you said it, bad.
As you know, there is more than one side to a story. Hows about I clue you in on the other side, bud? Guess what I do for a below-poverty-level living? I am the secretary for faculty searches. I get it from BOTH sides: the intellectual elitist who thinks NOBODY ever before fucking thought the thoughts he's had, AND the brilliant, already-tenured and frequently unshowered professor.
Let me explain. First of all, I don't care how far you have to drive to the airport and that your wife is 11 months pregnant and needs the car to take your yet-un-potty trained 7-year old for his twice-weekly shrink visit. And I don't care that you have allergies so could I be sure, SURE, ABSOLUTELY SURE that you get a non-smoking room. And furthermore, I couldn't give a shit less about your special needs meaning you have to stand in mountain pose, facing north at 2:17 p.m. and chant so would I please not schedule any appointments then. And if I may ask, why, if wifey isn't coming with you, do I need to arrange to have a breast pump available?
OF COURSE I'll drive you around so that you can see the "housing options," in our fine town. While we're at it, how 'bout I stop by Home Depot so that you can pick up an application for something that you could actually DO!
Oh yes, we're all putting our best foot forward here. But before you start whining to me about how hard it is to get a job, spend a little time in the real world with me, why doncha? In MY real world, there's no such thing as tenure. In MY world, spring break does not exist. In MY world, nobody's claiming we're in the pick-your-own-number percentile of salaries.
Why do I do it? Because you people are the most interesting thing on the face of the earth. I don't have to go to work each day. I GET to go to work each day and hang out with you guys. It is amazing.
So, quit whining. Shave. Look a little bright-eyed. And remember, at small, liberal arts colleges they ask for everyone's input in selecting faculty.
Including ME!
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